Sunday, November 27, 2011

Time with You

Amazing.

That describes every moment that I spend with you. You're an interesting kid full of energy and excitement. Whether we are watching a movie together (Astro Boy seems to be one of our favorites as of late) to playing hide and seek I can't help but feel elated. If salt is the spice that makes food go from bland to savory then you are the salt to my life. It takes a special person to wake me up at 5 AM to get tissues and for me not to be upset about having my sleep interrupted. I enjoy reading with you, watching you learn. The look on your face when you learn something is priceless.

Since I can't stop time.

Time is unforgiving and stubborn. It goes forward whether or not we are ready to continue in that direction. I try to take in every moment, every memory, every experience and enjoy it because I know that before I am ready you will be waving goodbye on your way off to college. Your mother and I talk about just how much you change month to month, week to week, it is scary how fast you are growing. Seeing you now it's like having a preview of whom you will eventually become and it is fascinating.

Thankful.

I am happy to be able to spend so much time with you, to be able to see you grow. The last few months have kept me at work longer than before so I don't see you as much. I promise to make the best of every little bit of time we spend together. I have seen too many father's miss out on the best experiences with their kids because they get caught up in their careers, womanizing, selfish dreams or plain stupidity. I promise I will not become of them. I want to be there with you at every step of your journey so that we may be able to look back with smiles on our faces as we reminisce.

A saying that's wrong.

People try to compare time to money, the popular expression is "time is money". It is their attempt to show how valuable time is. I prefer to think as time is more than money. I can lose a dollar and not fret over it because I can work and make it back. Can anyone say the same about a minute? a moment? Time is our most valuable gift. I will give you all of mine and hope that you can spare some of yours in return.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

An Ounce of Prevention

I am afraid.


There are things going on in the world, as they always have, that scare me. I have brought you into a world where malice, evil and seemingly the devil roams freely. One day you'll pickup a newspaper (if they're still around) and we'll go through the stories found in it. I will give you some background information on current stories, world stories and will try to help you make sense of the craziness that is contained within those pages. Hopefully you won't hate your mother and I for bringing you into this mess.


Recent outrage.


Lately the big headlines have had to deal with Penn State University; a tragedy that I wish not to speak on. I waited to write another post to you as I did not want my anger to distort the messages that I want to leave for you. One day you will learn that there are times when it is better to wait until you have gotten control over your emotions before you speak. Words after they are spoken/written are hard to take back and almost impossible to explain away. The one thing I will say about the recent revelations is that it makes me feel good about the decisions that your mother and I have made in the way we are raising you.


My duty.


If I am responsible for anything in life it is to protect you. I want you to get the most of out of this life; I will be the one doing the risk management. We love that you take ballet and gymnastics; it makes my heart melt seeing you enjoying these activities. Eventually you will move on to other things, maybe sports or music, and you will do so without having to fear meeting the worst of our society. Because of the world we live in I cannot "trust" that a coach, teacher, etc will not do something improper. You might hate that I am the only father driving you to school or picking you up from dances, or God forbid trying to chaperon the event. You'll understand one day.


A pound of cure.


"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure", said Benjamin Franklin. I will take every precaution to ensure that something like what happened in Penn State happens in our lives. The pound of cure might include your life destroyed, mines behind bars and your mother's filled with hatred and rage. I will then continue to be that crazy, over-protective father that you will get to know and continue to love.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Anger Management

Yes I said it.

I will rather have to spend the rest of my life paying for you to receive anger management treatment than a shrink because someone walked all over you. As a father one of my biggest fears is not being able to be there to protect you at all times. I want to teach you balance, restraint and the fine art of political maneuvering in the social sphere. If I don't get to those lessons here is an abridged version.

1. Don't take crap from anyone. I mean no one.
2. Stand up for yourself. 
3. If problems persists see above.


Some might disagree.


I can hear my mother now, "how are you going to teach her that? That is not how I raised you!" She is entitled to her own opinion. I remember some of the things that bullies tried with me; kids can be so cruel as my wife clearly points out. I have heard too many stories about kids not being able to deal with the abuse that their peers dish out, that will not be my daughter. If I am going to be wrong in my parenting style I will err on the side that she will be strong and capable of taking care of herself.


Utopia.

We don't live in a perfect world. Just last night I read that someone in NY found the severed foot of a child on the sidewalk (See Here). It makes me sick to my stomach to read stories like that. Violence is not something that only plays out in our movies, music or history books. The dark side of humanity is but an inch away from knocking on anyone's door. I pray that I can prevent my daughter from having to see and/or experience any of it before she needs to. 


My hope.


Hopefully I will have enough time with my daughter to guide her, to help her navigate this world without being neither a victim or a bully. Unlike my father I plan to be there every step of the way so long as I live. I want to be there to teach her how to deal with bullies, gossipers, idiots and lord help me, boyfriends.